Leanne's Diary
by Mini Nephthys
Summary: Path of Radiance: Let's review how I've spectacularly failed to get into anyone's pants so far, shall we? Multichapter, various pairings.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first multichapter fic. Don't know when the next chapter'll be up - it depends how long it is and how quickly I write. Uh, line breaks indicate new diary entries.

Pairings (in this chapter) (using the term pairing _very_ loosely): Leanne/Naesala, Leanne/Tibarn, Leanne/Sanaki, Leanne/Ike, Leanne/Soren, Leanne/Ranulf, Leanne/Sephiran, Tibarn/Reyson, Naesala/Reyson, Ike/Soren.

* * *

Ooh, I'm so excited! Brother bought this journal for me in a market in Gallia today. He says that I should keep a diary, since I can't actually talk to that many people… And if there's anything I don't want to tell him yet, I can write it in here.

…Is it just me, or is Brother a sap?

Anyway. Speaking of things that I don't want to tell him, ever, I, like, totally failed to score with this hot cat. Apparently, Brother can't go eat dinner without dragging me along. Sigh. At least he didn't walk in on me this time.

So! Let's review how I have spectacularly failed to get into anyone's pants at all, shall we?

Naesala: hot. Very, very hot. Also, he's clearly bisexual, which would be awesome if I could talk Brother into a threesome. Unfortunately, Brother squawks at him if he sees us even kissing, and he's kind of paranoid whenever Naesala's around. So, haven't gotten past the totally serious foreplay stage.

Tibarn: also hot. That shirt he wears certainly doesn't hurt. Giggle! But I'm not even sure that he's straight, the way he keeps looking at my brother. And the way he keeps ignoring me in favor of my brother. I haven't even managed to kiss the guy yet.

Sanaki: can you say jailbait? Teehee! And that apology back in Serenes was cute. If only she wasn't followed by some random servant all the time, I'd have snogged her by now.

Ike: I like strong guys, and he did save me from that disgusting Duke Pervert of Tanas. I don't really want to be burned at the stake by an angry mob of crazy religious nuts, though. Haven't kissed him.

Soren: the gothboy look is so totally in right now. And he's so cute, and he kind of speaks a bit of my language… But I still don't want to die. (Plus, he's clearly crushing on Ike. Aww.) Nope, haven't kissed him either.

Ranulf: look at those ears, they're adorable! And I think he was flirting with me a few days ago! …But Brother's hanging around me nearly all the time now. He needs a hobby or something. Or to get laid.

Speaking of which, I need to get laid too. Preferably soon!

* * *

Oh! So, we headed back to Serenes (which is awesome, because it's closer to a lot of hot birds, and to Miss Jailbait), and I was totally talking to Naesala today! Best. Conversation. Ever. Here, I'll write it for you!

Me: Sigh. "Brother's hanging around too much; it's keeping me from getting any action at all…"

Naesala: "Now, that is a shame."

Me: Nod. "He needs a hobby. Or to get laid."

Naesala: Eyebrow raise. "Does he, now. You know, that could be arranged…"

Me: "…Ooh. You'd do that for me?" Flutters eyelashes.

Naesala: "Of course."

…Um, the rest of the conversation isn't very conversation-y. Mostly, it was just Naesala doing some very interesting things with his tongue. Dear Ashera, that man is hot!

Still no actual sex for me yet. Brother walked in on us again. We weren't even partially undressed this time! Damn.

* * *

Brother was blushing like mad today when our dear raven king left for Kilvas.

Remind me to thank Naesala the next time I see him. And you know how they say that the best way to repay a favor is to do the same for them, right?

Nope, no smex.

* * *

Giggle! Today, Miss Jailbait herself came to visit! (Or, well, Her Imperial Majesty Jailbait. I guess that's what I'm supposed to call her. Doesn't have the same ring to it, though.)

…And she brought with him that Duke. Sephiran is his name, I think. He's pretty and all, but of all the beorc men in the world, he'd probably be the least likely one to do anything with me. Since, you know, he's on the Senate and all, and the goddess kind of doesn't like beorc and laguz together.

Needless to say, I didn't get any action today either.

* * *

He read my diary!

Stupid, invading, prudish excuse for a brother!

How am I ever supposed to be able to do anything _now_?

No sex today, obviously.

* * *

Today, dear diary, I succeeded in my first seduction ever!

Remember how I never managed to kiss Tibarn before because Brother was always spending way too much time with him? Well, I found out three things today:

Tibarn is, surprisingly, not gay.

Brother seems to think he is, or else he wouldn't have let me with him, alone, for the day. Or maybe he thought Tibarn could resist my charms. This leads to my next point.

No one can resist my charms! (Evil giggle!)

…Still haven't gotten to do the horizontal tango yet. But, hey, snogging Tibarn against a wall isn't too shabby!

* * *

Bored now. That fling with Tibarn didn't really go anywhere, and he's back to gawking at my brother like usual.

On the upside, Brother's not watching me quite as closely as he was right after he'd read my diary. So yay.

If I had gotten laid, I wouldn't be bored, now would I?

* * *

OMG. OMG. SQUEE.

Today, today Brother was off visiting (read: sleeping with) Tibarn, and I got to fly off to Kilvas and, and!

Smex-O-Meter Status: YES. Naesala is awesome.

Score: Leanne 1, whatever otherworldly powers don't want me to get laid… 32 or so. This might take a while.


	2. Chapter 2

I return, like a fiery thing from the ashes!

Quote-unquote "pairings" in this chapter: Leanne/Zihark, Leanne/Shinon, Leanne/Rhys, Leanne/Ike, Leanne/Soren, Leanne/Mia, Leanne/Titania, Leanne/Kurthnaga, Leanne/Lotz, Leanne/Sanaki, Leanne/Tibarn.

* * *

So today I was thinking about how incredibly cuuuuuute this guy Zihark was. He's, like, got lightish bluish hair and this totally awesome sword – not _that_ kind of sword! 

(Gah, I think my diary's more of a pervert than I am.)

I haven't seen him since the uber pwning of Ashnard, though. Dang.

No horizontal tango, mambo, cha-cha, or anything like that today.

* * *

Speaking of hot mercenaries, Reyson says we might visit Crimea soon, and we could maybe stop by the mercenary camp. 

…

_Yay!_

There's all _kinds_ of hot guys at that camp! There's that redhead archer guy, Shinon, who was totally cool even though he was a bit of a jerk, and that other redhead priest guy, I think his name's Rhys, so cuuuuute, and Ike, and Soren…

Oh, and the girls are hot too. Like Mia. Mia was kickass. And Titania was really, really hot. You know what they say about redheads.

(…Actually. What _do_ they say about redheads? I know they say _something_ about them, but I've never found out what.)

Despite my fantasizing, no sex today.

* * *

We stopped by the mercenary camp, and that was fun. At one point I was _this_ close to snogging Ike! Oh, and I flirted with Shinon for five minutes. He was rly rly confused. 

(Bad part? Reyson would, like, never leave me alone. Grr.)

Oh, he says we might head over to Goldoa… Which is cool, because that dragon prince is oh-so-adorable. Heehee.

_This_ close to snogging Ike, damnit. _This_ close!

* * *

Goldoa is, like, capital of Boringland. Reyson still won't leave me alone, and I have to spend a bunch of time with the old geezer (Dehwhatever). 

(No offense to old geezers. Actually, make that offense to old geezers. They're gross. I'm willing to believe that Nealuchi was a lady-killer when he was young, but now? Eww. No. Just, no.)

Nothing doing.

* * *

Back at Serenes. Father's still not doing so well… Really stinks. Plus I didn't see anyone today besides Father and Brother. 

…And while we're on the subject. An incest person is _not_ me! …I mean, I'm not an incest person! Whatever!

Father's all old and grody and eww. Brother's a prude and probably gay.

So don't even think about it, fangi- I mean, journal!

No sex! I swear!

* * *

Gaaaaah. This is even boringer than Goldoa. Goldoa at least had hot guys. (Even if they were underage.) Can't I, like, move to Kilvas? Or back to Gallia? Without Brother? 

Brother says no. Crap.

What do _you_ think? I have _standards_, okay? Standards!

* * *

Um. So. Diary. 

Remember Lotz?

…yeah. Why didn't I _snog_ him when I had the chance? I was alone with him (well, okay, the Black Knight was there, but I didn't know that) and he was cute and Brother _wasn't there_!

Sigh.

* * *

So today I got to go to Begnion, and I was _totally_ invading Sanaki's personal space. Hee. I think I saw a blush, too! 

'Course, it was in the big shiny holy cathedral thing, so I'd have felt way guilty about snogging her there. Hot lesbian making out isn't goddess-approved, sadly.

If I had slept with anyone there, I think the goddess would've smited (smote? smitten?) me by now.

* * *

Today, on my neverending quest to get laid, I realized something. 

I am doing this the complete _wrong_ way.

See, right now I'm trying to get Brother to trust me enough to let me alone with a guy… But what I _should_ be doing is getting Brother to not be able to come _near_ me! I've been way too _nice_!

Not anymore!

_I_, personally, think that pink looks good on Brother.

That's all I'm going to say. Imagine the context for yourself, dear diary.

* * *

Operation Piss Off Relative Now going smoothly. Brother glares at me, like, all the time now. 

Oh, dear Brother, you know I love you. I just love every other attractive man on the continent more!

No sex yet.

* * *

Eww…. Brother and I had one of _those_ talks today. The ones where he's all like "I don't always understand why you do what you do, but I'll always love you" and I'm all like "…okaaaaay…" 

Gross. Brother, you're such a sap.

Anyway, he swore to give me some space, which was great and all, but did he really have to talk for _hours_ first?

No _wonder_ he needs to get laid more often. He'd probably talk his boyfriends/girlfriends to death.

* * *

Tibarn came over. 

Reyson had to go… shopping. For food, or something. Possibly for more clothes. (Seriously, he has a bigger wardrobe than _me_.)

Like I said before: no one can resist my charms.

SCORE!


End file.
